May 29, 2015 | 0 COMMENTS

(Disclaimer from me, the thoughts and views expressed in this blog post do not reflect my views on women. This is just a response with SATIRICAL elements to my friend, and amazing writer, Stephanie Q, article: Flirting vs Friendly. So enjoy. Thank you.)

Say youā€™re at a festival and you see that one girl with an amazing smile, pumping her fist away. You realize through the flashing neon lights and streams of fluorescent lasers that there is something unique about her, invoking this new-found urge to get her attention. Before you could go talk to her, a flood of insecurities and doubts halts your steps and forces you to rethink the whole situation.

raver relaxing at EDC 2013

Me being super creepy at EDC 2013

Well thatā€™s what Iā€™m here for . . . well Iā€™m no Casanova: just an Asian kid who has been through trials and many errors. Iā€™m here with warnings for my fellow bros; Iā€™m here to make sure you ā€œcheck yo self before you wreck yo self!ā€

1.Ā If she says she likes your kandi then she wants the D!

If some girl takes the time to burrow her way through the crowd to say ā€œI like your kandi,ā€ then sheā€™s trying to talk to you. If sheā€™s complimenting you then sheā€™s deff hitting on you dwag. Trying to get some of that ALPHA!

Look bros, if a girl says she likes your kandi then maybe she just genuinely likes your kandi. Maybe she is a kandi enthusiast. If she compliments you on your piece then strike up a conversation; she notices you so thatā€™s a good thing. You can use this as way to slip in a flirt but donā€™t use this as an excuse to try and jam your tongue down her mouth.

2.Thereā€™s no way a girl is just trying to dance

If a girl is up there shaking her carefully crafted booty, then sheā€™s waiting for some Alpha.

Ā 

Donā€™t assume that just because girls is at a festival, who are wearing eye-catching apparel, are there to meet guys. Just because sheā€™s shaking that rave booty doesnā€™t mean itā€™s a National Geographic mating call. If she rejects you then you have to respect that. Sheā€™s doing you a favor by letting you down easy, bro. Itā€™s also wrong to assume sheā€™s a lesbian or call her derogatory names after the rejection; be a mature adult and leave, at least you asked her.

3.Ā Bump and GRIND!!!

Just sneakily walk up behind her and start pumping that fist. Flex those biceps, shrug those shoulders, youā€™re not wearing that tank top cuz itā€™s comfortable. You spent all that time in the gym and taken half of GNC, show her what those steroids got cha. Strategically pump that fist next to her and ā€œaccidentallyā€ bump into her. If she bumps back then that means she wants it.

I will have to admit that in the past I have done this with success. But that doesnā€™t mean go around ā€œaccidentallyā€ bumping into every cute girl you see. Most girls find it creepy when strangers comes behind them and forcefully grind on their unprotected back. Donā€™t keep coming after she shakes you off like some creepy grinding Terminator. If you want to dance with a girl, a back-attack isnā€™t the answer.

4. Uplift her hands and into her rave panties

Right before that sick drop from one of those awesome Top 10 bangers, there is an overused build-up. You gotta look at her and say, ā€œI love this partā€ and grab her hand and lift it in the air. This shows her that youā€™re sensitive and sh*t. Then she is left defenseless and you gotta seize this moment to strategically give her a twirl into your grinding position.

Sometimes when a guy tries to dance with a random girl a train wreck occurs as the guy tries to spin the girl around for a dance. There is a sense of trust when you hold someones hands up in the air during a euphoric moment, you share a bond as the lights shines and the beats surrounds everyone. So embrace it for what it is and donā€™t use it as an excuse to creep.

5. Hug and Squeeze her into your trap

Rave chicks love to hug and cuddle. Give her the nod and hug her. Itā€™s a reason to get close. Make sure she smells your alpha smell that has been manifesting since the banger dropped. Cuddle hard and remember that girls love it when you say creepy things to them.

I donā€™t like to hug much, especially during a festival when Iā€™m all sweaty and smelly. Iā€™ve seen it too many times when after a hug there would be that lingering arm. If sheā€™s jumping up and down and the only connection between you two is your desperate arm, then just let go. If it was really meant to be then she would come back to you.

Elsa let it go meme

Even Elsa is telling you to, you know . . .

Ā 

6.Ā No such thing as a FRIEND-ZONE!

No Alpha settles in the friend-zone. If she says that she only wants to be friends then you gotta move onto the next one. Sheā€™s not ready for an alpha like you. Or fist pump your way out of the friend-zone by playing the friend card.


This could either apply to that new person you met or that one person whom you have been eying in the crew for the last 4 sets. If she says she wants to be friends then you gotta respect that. Who knows, maybe something will happen later down the road. However, at that moment she just wants to be friends. Donā€™t use that sneaky friend card to try and get into a girls rave box, be her friend. A trust and respect between friends is one that should not be broken.

Alright bros, Iā€™ve given you some tips on how to NOT be a creeper. Youā€™re an intelligent human being, donā€™t be a bro looking for that ā€œgash.ā€ Use your words, talk to girls. Words good, random grinding bad . . . unless Channing Tatum. No girl likes a desperate bro. If she donā€™t like you then just move on. Rage hard. Be an ALPHA and not a creep.


Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.

Closed