Iām used to anyone coming up to me and striking up a conversationĀ whether it may be about the DJ playing, my outfit, or rave life in general. In fact, I love it when people come up to talk to me because that means I have a friendly aura. On the flip side,Ā thereās also the chance that a guy comes up to me because he thinks Iām single and wants to flirt with me. Iāve had some pretty weird experiences with guys hitting on me at events, but one of the weirdest moments was at San Jose Stateās Jack Yo Lantern. I was dancing and having a good time when a guy came up to me, took my hand, and said that I looked good in my outfit. Figuring itās just a friendly remark I thanked him, but then he told me to copy what he was doing. His weird hip thrusting and arm motions in the air was a little to much for me, so I just started laughing and lightly nudged him away. He then asked why I didnāt want to dance with him and I pointed to my boyfriend. He backed off, but I overheard him telling my boyfriend, āIf thatās your girl, if thatās really your girl, I wanna see you tear that ass up.ā To be honest, I was a little freaked out; who even says stuff like that?!
Once we got home my boyfriend told me that he was upset that I was supposedly āflirtingā with another guy right in front of him. At first I was legitimately surprised by his accusation, but then I realized that he doesnāt know what weāre talking about. All my boyfriend sees is his girlfriend and another guy talking, hand contact, and the weird dance movements. Of course heās going to think something is up, heās a guy. Then my boyfriend continued saying how it bothered him that I flirted with other guys even while I was standing next to him.
Now, hold up. Iāve ALWAYS talked to random people at events! Just because Iām talking to a guy doesnāt mean Iām flirting with him! I can understand how difficult it is to distinguish between flirting or being friendly at a rave because everyone is so damn friendly all the time, but thatās what I also love about raves: weāre naturally friendly people and want to give out the good vibes to others as well.
So how can we really distinguish the difference between flirting and being friendly at a rave?
Ran into an old friend at Crush SF! Met this cool cat at Beyond Wonderland (NorCal 2013) and have been running into him at events ever since! Whoever said talking to strangers was bad is wrong! They make great friends tooĀ
One solution:Ā Stop assuming everyone is flirting with you. Itās not being conceited if you think someoneĀ isĀ flirting with you at an event, but if you keep thinking that the entire world is hitting on you at a rave, youāre in the wrong place. A rave is a place where youāre surrounded by friends that you havenāt met yet. Ravers, being some of the nicest people youāll ever meet, are ALWAYS more than happy to meet new people! In the raving world weāre all about PLUR and therefore are comfortable with being ourselvesĀ around strangers without having the need to worry about being judged. Thatās why Iām not afraid to go up to anyone and strike up a conversation with anybody, not just boys! I like to pay girls compliments on their outfits whether it may be cute or creative or if someone is feeling the same vibe from me during a certain artist I give them a high five. These small gestures could indicate flirting for others, but 90% of the time ITāS NOT FLIRTING.
Met this pretty unicorn at POPNYE 2014 and had to run up to tell her how pretty she looked
A second solution: if youāre genuinely interested in someone that youāve met at a rave, make sure to grab their info and hit them up afterwards for a cup of coffee; just do something outside of a rave without the worry that the other person is intoxicated. A rave is a place where people come and express who they really are, but sometimes that doesnāt correlate to how they really are in real life as well. Once I met a guy at a rave who seemed interested in me; we danced, talked a bit, and exchanged numbers. So once we met outside of a rave and got to know him a little better, I began to like him a lot. But hereās the catch: his girlfriend of 5-years broke up with him a couple months ago and he started raving to try toĀ get over that. AfterĀ a series of drama and him eventually reuniting with his ex, I vowed to never date a guy I met at a rave ever again. This isnāt always the case though! Iāve met plenty of rave couples that met at a rave and have healthy relationships, props to you guys! Itās possible to meet the love of your life at an event, but the real test is when youāre outside of an event.
Again, there isnāt anything wrong with flirting, just donāt go overboard where the other person could consider it harassment. I admit that Iām not very good at noticing when someone is flirting with me or not, but how else do we make friends at events? Compliments! Compliments are how we meet on another whether it may be because of our taste in music, outfits, or kandi.
There isnāt a definite way to pinpoint whether or not someone is flirting or being friendly with you at an event. The only way you will know is by asking the person or just going with the flow. Remember: donāt take everything so seriously at events. Let loose and have fun meeting great people! Even if someone was flirting with you, take it as a compliment, who doesnāt like getting compliments?!